Forever a student, New Year's might as well start on Labor Day, as the beginning of the school year seems a better time than any to reflect on the previous year and all the changes that took place in my life. Said reflection led me to the following statement: last year was a suckfest major and I'm quite glad for it.
Crazy girl say what? Let me paint you a picture, and perhaps you'll see what I mean. Fresh from Rutgers undergraduate, I thought I'd experience something rather similar to any other year at Rutgers because I was living on the same campus and commuting to College Ave again. Wrong. I was not prepared for the adjustment period required for my brain to get used to all the work that stretched on forever, which ultimately led to the inability to concentrate for more than a paragraph of at a time. Not to mention the ridiculous amounts of reading assigned, that made my senior seminar on 18th century travel narratives seem like a cakewalk. It took far too long to get all my homework done, and even then, I opted to shove everything off for the last minute and read all the books for Materials for Children instead because it didn't rupture my brain.
Above all, I wasn't in a place to conceive how alone I would feel. I moved into a house filled with cliquey and pretentious people that preferred to reminisce on the good times of 2007 than experience the here and now (or what was the here and now). That is not to say that I didn't become friends with some of those housemates, but it sure as hell didn't happen for at least two months. In fact, I think that outside of Johanna, it didn't happen until Jim and I broke up for a hot second (an event which brought about even more loneliness, of a different variety). At school it seemed like everyone around me was branching off into tightly knit little groups; groups that if I attempted to penetrate I was met with cold stares and awkward pauses. And don't even get me started on the public library's social politics.
I know what you're thinking. I said I was glad last year sucked. Well, I am. If not for the months of coming home and crying at the evilness of library school and the weeks before I made friends, I wouldn't appreciate the wonderful people that seem to think I'm as awesome as I find them. I wouldn't be able to breeze through subjects like cataloging with an A, if not for that first semester of crap. Not to get all TV movie on you, but my brain and compassion have expanded immensely as a result of all that crud. Every single person that lives on the first and second floors of my house now are brand new students to Rutgers. After remembering how desolate my first months in the OG house were, how could I sequester myself off from these new people? I have instantly bonded with many of them and am very optomistic for the upcoming year. Thank you last year for draining my soul. Apparently I wouldn't have room for all this good stuff if not for that.
P.s. Yes, there is a Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century reference in this post. You didn't dream it due to missing quality Disney Channel original movies of yesteryear. Oh Zenon, how I miss you so...